My mom isn't the same mom i am

My mom isn't the same kind of mom I am.  Her mom isn't the same kind of mom she was.  Luckily for us, things have gotten easier.  Sure, some things have gotten harder in their own way- there are way more choices and things to think about it.  Things aren't as simple as they were when our moms grew up.  We've got different privilages than they had.  My mom grew up without the same luxuries I had.  Things were more simple.  Money was tight.  At times happiness was a luxury.  While my mom may not identify her childhood as sad there were certain things she didn't get.  The most of that was a mom that was warm and fuzzy, aware of her own feelings, able to teach and model to my mom how to navigate her emotional world.  In turn the mom I got wasn't one with the best emotional tools to pass on.  My mom was more emotionally equipped than her mom.  I am more emotionally equipped than my mom.

We've come to see our feelings as rights, not privilages like there were for our moms.  That hasn't come without it's share of taxes.  Looking towards a less emotional mom to know I was okay growing up wasn't easy.  My experience definitely wasn't unique.  My mom didn't throw me the parade for the little things.  Sometimes I was criticized for the little things, like the two points I didn't get right on my test that would have made it 100.  I know now things I didn't know then, like that my mom wanted to best for me.  She wanted me to never feel the hurts that she felt.  She wanted me to get good grades, go to college, be successful.  She wanted me to be able to anything I could want to do. She destroyed a number of dreams along the way.  I heard, 'not good enough'.  I heard, 'not good enough alot'.  My mom never wanted to tell me I wasn't good enough.

i don't want to be that mom.  Being happy has become a right.  It's no longer thought of as a privilage.  You are supposed to be happy.  It's even more likely to suggest something is wrong with you if you aren't.  I work hard to throw my daughter a parade for the little things. I work hard to make sure she never hears, 'not good enough'.  She's about to turn four. But, am I doing her any favors by preventing her from experiencing disappointment?  Am I doing her any favors by teaching her that the world will throw her a parade no matter what she does?  Do I want to believe that she needs a different mom than the mom I had?