where your friends are...

You don't have to do it.  They drive you crazy.  The congregating at the water cooler makes you want to roll your eyes so far into your head you are afraid they will get stuck.  If you hear about one more weekend of (insert blah, blah, blah) you think you might scream.  Yet, every morning as you walk into work you berate yourself/pep talk yourself to just be nice because these people are supposed to be your friends.  Right?  I mean that's what mom always said, right?  The mantra from high school was kill them with kindness.  It was easier back then though.  You actually liked the people you ate lunch with.  With these people you'd rather eat in the storage closet than listen to them recount their adventures.  What gives?

Autogroups.  Up through college your friendship world has been driven by autogroups.  It happens elementary through high school and on in to college.  An autogroup is a group that puts people like you around you in a way that you easily gravitate together and become friends.  Once you are an adult it's easy to assume that work is going to be another autogroup and we set out to find our new best friend.  What we forget to notice is that these really aren't your people.  Our work environment has a range of ages and stages of life.  Yet everyone is existing together.  It's easy to feel pressured to be friends with your co-workers because it will look like it's always worked in the past.

I'm here to tell you it's okay not to like your co-workers.  It's okay not to want to chat at the water cooler.  It's okay to want to decline numerous invitations to happy hours.  It's even okay to feel left out the next day when you hear what you missed.  No matter how much you don't want to be invited, you WILL feel left out.  And your world won't end!